Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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