I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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