Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Rumble strips road head = magical
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
