dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
