So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
