If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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