Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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