I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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