After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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