Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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