Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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