chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
