You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
