For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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