I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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