Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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