Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
