She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
