we're blogging at a bar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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