I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
