At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
