He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
