Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
