You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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