Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
