physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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