I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
