He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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