I'm gonna have a badass scar
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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