Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
birth control should be required to get into college
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
