fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
