When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
