You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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