Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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