We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
