at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
