I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
