That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
