I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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