My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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