omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
what day is it and did you see me today?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
