Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
