my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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