My sheets look like a crime scene.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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