tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
