I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
