I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
babies were throwing up all over the place
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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