so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
