i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
