we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
