i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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