My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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