So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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